Fear Of Judgement

Have you ever felt scared to do something because you fear how others may perceive you? This phenomenon is very common and is seen across people of all age ranges. We put societal expectations over our freedom. We try to act a certain way, say certain things so that society will accept us. And more often than not, we refrain from saying and doing things that we truly want to, because what if people didn’t like it? What if they gossip behind our backs? By letting other people’s opinions have control over our actions, we’re limiting ourselves. 

I’m sure most of us have hesitated to speak on certain topics or provide our opinions because we fear others’ judgement. I remember many times I did not speak up in my class when the teacher asked questions because I was scared of saying the wrong answer. And this type of thinking pattern is not only limited to the classroom. Even with friends and families, we stop ourselves from showing our raw side. We try to shrink ourselves and please society. We clamour about how free we are as humans but we don’t even allow ourselves to speak out. Is this truly freedom or a cage named freedom?

The fear of judgement, when taken to extremes, can harm us. We might not see the harm directly, but every time you’re opting out of something due to your fear, you’re missing out on a handful of growth and exposure. You’re denying yourself opportunities that can change the trajectory of your life. Fear of what others might think is a common thing among humans, but this fear shouldn’t overpower your decision-making skills. 

One fascinating thing about speaking out is that if people around us praise us for our words, we raise our heads high, chin up, puffing chests proudly, as if we’ve conquered the world. But one small criticism is all it takes to shatter that feeling. Then we shrink ourselves, feeling ashamed, trying to quickly think of something to salvage the situation, and that desperate attempt to defend ourselves even when we know somewhere deep down that criticism is accurate. The question is, why do we not allow ourselves to be wrong? What is so bad about not being correct all the time?

In psychology, there is a term called ‘spotlight effect’. It says that people think they’re in the spotlight, waiting to be judged by everyone around them. It’s a mental habit where individuals think that everyone around is paying more attention to them than they actually do. We’ve all experienced this. While walking in a crowd full of people, we try to smooth our clothes, fix our hair because we think people around us are looking at us. But how often do you look at someone and think about them all day? Exactly. Nobody has that much time to think about others because each of us is engrossed in our own little bubbles. 

Only when we fully let go of what others think of us can we truly attain freedom.