Fear Of Being Ordinary

What if our biggest fear was not failure, but being ordinary? Failure was something that people feared the most. But I wonder if it is the same today. Or maybe the thing we fear the most is being ordinary. Only a few people admit that they are afraid of living an ordinary life. Yet, it has a huge impact on the decisions we make. Choosing careers that sound impressive, compiling accomplishments, building our personal brands and chasing experiences that make us feel different from everyone else. Somewhere along this journey, becoming “just another person” has started to feel like a failure. 

Growing up, we were told that each one of us in the room is special in our unique way. Despite our backgrounds, we were reassured that we are equally capable of aiming for the stars and making a difference. However, the problem arises when we start believing that an ordinary life is somehow less meaningful than an exceptional one. And social media has definitely made this feeling stronger within us. Every other day we are exposed to selective moments of other people’s lives. Someone becomes a millionaire at twenty-something. Someone is off to their next international vacation. Another friend gets accepted to a renowned university and someone is launching their third business. Success seems continuous and thrilling. Just not happening to us. 

What we often miss that people only show what they want other people to see. We rarely notice the struggle, the uncertainty and the waiting period before those extraordinary successes. When we start comparing such extraordinary moments to our everyday life then our ordinary life starts feeling like a huge failure. This pressure is particularly common among us young generations. We no longer want to live a life that is fulfilling, but rather a life that looks impressive.

A hobby is no longer something that we simply enjoy; rather, it becomes a part of our personality. It is simply not enough to enjoy reading a book or two; we feel the need to become a “book lover”. It feels like going to the gym must be documented, so does enjoying a coffee. Which isn’t completely a negative thing. 

But without our realisation, we are slowly performing our life instead of living it. Perhaps, the greatest cost of this mindset is that we have forgotten to be grateful for our small achievements. Completing a degree, finding a stable job, spending time with our loved ones may not attract any attention online but these moments of our so-called ordinary life are someone else’s dream. 

Also we’ve started believing that if we are not exceptional at something from day one, there is no point in trying altogether. We avoid applying for opportunities because there is someone out there who seems more deserving than us. We have taken comfort in fear rather than action because we compare our day one with someone else's Instagram highlights. 

But the irony here is that, the same fear that we have of being ordinary pushes us away from becoming the people we want to be. Maybe we are lacking somewhere in understanding what gives life a meaning.

Possibly the essence of life is not found in constantly standing out. Maybe it is found in showing up in those ordinary days that may never go viral. History remembers remarkable people, but society is built by ordinary ones. There is honour in living an ordinary life, and maybe living one isn't the problem. But forgetting how precious it is, is. 

A fulfilling life doesn’t always have to look impressive. Sometimes an impressive life is keeping your promises you made to yourself, helping someone when there are no cameras, learning something new and choosing purpose over attention. In a world that measures us only by how much we stand out, at least the best thing we can do for ourselves is stop measuring our worth by how we appear. It does not have to make sense to everyone. Because maybe the fear was not failing to become extraordinary, but forgetting to live a life that feels true.